Phew - it's over. The first presentation for the iPad is now done. Betcha Uncle Ron doesn't realize what a beast he created when he bought that iPad for Zach almost a year ago. We presented to around 60 people tonight sponsored by two terrific agencies in the area on the benefits of the iPad for people with ASD. It was even opening night for our new website/blog that, although still a work in progress, is informative and looks great because of the skill and caring of a talented young man.
I am a terrible public speaker which may surprise some of you who know me or have spoken to me. One of the reasons I didn't pursue a music career is that you mention the word competition or recital around me and the dry heaves set in within seconds. And let me tell you, there were plenty of them growing up, so it wasn't because I didn't have the opportunity. One of the things I used to like was accompanying on the piano. The chorus was nice - but I really loved playing with the orchestra - just no concertos please. A few bars to myself was fine, but I was more than pleased to do harmony and background support. All in all, what I really wanted was to be the conductor. Still do.
I am not sure if it is the age or the events of my life or a combination of both, but I am in this place where I can do things I never thought I could before. I know I have public speaking issues, I know I am not the world's most imaginative presenter, but I know tonight's presentation was good in that I reached a few people, I shared, and I may have done something to help someone. I know that although I might not have been the most titillating, the content of the presentation was top notch. Perfect, nope. Exciting, likely not. I can work on that - or more importantly, find people to help me with that. A friend almost has me convinced to do Toast Masters....
I love what I am doing right now. I haven't seen Steve so energized in a very long time, either. When you are in the right place, doing what you are supposed to be doing, that is what happens. It's still a lot of hard work, but it doesn't totally drain you.
I like that I recognize my flaws, but don't beat myself up over them. I love that I have learned how to ask for help and more importantly that I have managed to find some terrific people who care and want to help. This place where I am at - well, I found that I am much more accepting of people (with their flaws and all!) than I ever was before. And there are tons of benefits to that.
I still do/say stupid things. And I am blessed with people in my life who love me anyhow. I try to make sure to put in more than I take out. I think I have accomplished that.
I also realize that I may be too involved in my son's life. We have spent quite a bit of time lately together - and he is really getting that potty training thing pretty well. Every day he refines it just a little more - he totally self initiates his toileting.
What was most impressive to me was his ride around the block on his bike with training wheels. The kid ate it up! Overall, Zach is doing fair right now, although I am not thrilled with his progress by any means.
Our program is still in a state of turmoil - and there is very little guidance with getting appropriate staff members.
Between taking training, doing training, and working on Zach's program - there has not been a lot of time to sit down and hit the keys for another entry into the blog - and I lost a bit of my own personal therapy.
He still has that smile though. And his general health is good. But that speech... uugghh.. that speech is still so limited. I think after being hit hard with his unfavorable eval from Yale where they flat out told us that he should be doing more than he is, I really was down, I took it personally - as if I, and I alone, were solely responsible for the lack of progress.
Talk about too much self-importance! It's taken years, and I am far from who I would like to be, but I can honestly say that I like who I am right now. I still have all those pesky faults.
And so does Zach. But he's got dimples. You can always get away with so much more with dimples!
We lost Aunt Ronnie this week. Lots of training including our own presentation this week. I am pretty much exhausted. Sorry about the negligence of the blog.
Looking forward to better weather.