Things are going fairly well in our household lately. Zach and Sophie went trick-or-treating together and it was a cold, yet precipitation free evening with a nice moon. We had a lot of fun. I was thrilled to have such a great evening with my family. Everyone had so much fun.
Zach was once again Thomas - OK OK - I know- isn't this the second or third year for that? Yes. It is such a convenient costume ( can be worn over bulky winter coats if needed in our tropical Syracuse climate) and he still loves Thomas. Plus - having worn it before, I think he sort of gets the point since we aren't able to verbally explain to him what Halloween is.
Steve took the kids off to the adjacent neighbors houses. Then he decided to pass out candy while our a family friend and Sophie took off in one direction and Zach and I went off in the other. He had a blast! He was so much fun. He rang the doorbells (too many times if I didn't pay attention - oops!) and when prompted said trick-or-treat. When people put the candy low for him to grab his own - he took it and dropped it in his bag. We did 0.7 miles - both sides! We at some point ran into Sophie and a friend and finished up with them. She was so darned cute even though her wig on her costume kept falling off her head. I think she really loved being able to go out with her brother.
Now this might not sound like anything significant to a lot of you, it sounds just like a typical Halloween, right? That is what makes it so significant to us. Whenever we don't have to think too much about what we have to do, that makes life so much easier for us. Unlike some of Zach's other developments, what I appreciated about this is that it was effortless, there was no preparation beyond what I did for Sophia - OK your right, even less preparation since I punted on the costume for him. :)
Pictures you ask? Ahhh errr.... yeah, well like I said, "no thinking".
Zach has recently begun chewing on the collars of his shirts and the cuffs of his sleeves. In behavioral terms, we have put this on "extinction". This means, for the meantime, that we ignore it and see what happens. I am wondering if his 6 year molars are pushing in and causing him to do this since he never did this before. Now as for Sophia - she is like me - likes to chew on things ALL the time. My chronic nail biting is a huge embarrassment for me - and she has a lighter version of it that started roughly 2 years ago. It makes me so sad that she might have learned this from me.
I had an adult in my life that was also a finger nail biter. I can recall trying to discuss this with her and she wouldn't talk about it. I remember going to my doctor and asking for help - to which he responded that out of all the bad habits to have - this one was benign comparatively. He went on to explain that if I would force myself into quitting I would likely take on a new behavior to replace it - and something with more consequences, like eating or smoking.
I have to tell you folks, knowing how my nail biting is worse than ever and done primarily at home, I have been wondering if I have been to blame for my kids oral fixations - a combination of genes and modelling. But then I recall the time when I began to chew my nails. I was on my way to a violin lesson, and looked down to see slightly long nails - nothing excessive for the normal kid - but for a violin player too much. My violin teacher was known to pull out the nail clippers right during lessons, and I can recall a snip that was a little to close to the quick. So I can recall taking care of business en route to the lesson. It's funny that I realize that might have been the beginning of the habit. Nervousness was paired with nail biting.
Yes, I over think things. All the time. I waste time doing it.
Sophie is busy this fall and I am almost happy that soccer is over for now. Whew! Sophie is enjoying all her activities - Girl Scouts, ballet, French, religious education. We are in preparation for her first penance. Unfortunately, our parish priest is very ill, and won't be able to attend the actual service. The instruction for first penance has been parent instructed which means that I have procrastinated and onyl begun working on it this past week when she is due to make her first penance December 5th.
I have discussed my struggles with faith before - but know in my heart that I want to give Sophia the sense of safety that I had from growing up within the Church. Although during these past few years especially after a priest who we had begun to befriend left the area, I have felt sort of deserted by our Church community. Having gone to them for help, we ended up being requested to set up the help ourselves for the church. I studied disability ministry a bit and realized that I could not afford to overextend myself and further. I was left feeling bitter. Had it not been for reading other mothers' blogs who had the same thing happen - I would have taken it more personally. I chalked it up once again to those not affected not "getting it".
Reading the materials for this sacrament has been very emotional for me. I feel like I have always had a very deep belief in a lot of the teachings of the Church and I struggle with the fact that I always felt that others don't take the teachings as serious as I did. This sacrament has always left me a little dumbfounded though - the emphasis on apologizing to those you hurt was never emphasized strongly enough in my opinion. Either way - I am not sure if I am connecting with God or just my core beliefs, but this journey Sophia is travelling has certainly brought up a lot of emotions. I always seem to take things more seriously - could this more "black and white" view of things be one of those genetic things that I passed on to my kids?
Thinking I was volunteering to pass out donuts, I signed up to work at Sophie's Penance Retreat. I showed up to find out I would actually be teaching a small class. (!!!) Oops. It was really no big deal - and extremely well organized. There were several breaks for us parent instructors and I had the opportunity to speak with some of the women who organized the retreat. In the end - I met a woman who was very open to seeing if we could get some of the kids with autism to receive their sacraments - particularly First Communion. She was a sassy smart Mom with whom I felt really comfortable. She likely doesn't know how her understanding and "can do" attitude gave me such a sense of faith again.
Now on to Thanksgiving we go....
Monday, November 7, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Fall Joy
We are 2 months into school now - and I have managed a few trips into the school to see how things are going in my kids' classes. Zach is in a typical classroom, in fact he has the same teacher Sophia had. And he and Sophia get to go to the same school. I love that - it's obviously convenient for picking the kids up, knowing the staff and all, but what really tickles me is that Sophie loves to see Zach in the hall and give him a hug.
Zach is not able to tell me how is day was due to his limited communication. The teacher occasionally sends me an email or writes in his take home notebook about any concerns. These were frequent at the onset of the year, and have greatly diminished as time has gone on. When I originally was thinking - I can't ask Zach how his day went, I then thought back to Sophia and how I when I would ask her, she would answer "Good" I then would ask: "What did you do?" only to receive the inevitable: "I don't know."
I remember looking into this, and getting advice about asking more specific questions: "What was your favorite thing you did today?" Sophie: "All of it." Then I would ask: "What was your least favorite part?" Sophie: "I liked it all, Momma!" Me: "Who did you play with?" Sophia: "Everyone." Me: "Can you show me something you learned today?" Sophia: "Mom - I'm tired." Yup - so much for that expert internet advice.
In the fact that I was not able to get my uber-communicationaly-abled daughter to give me one ounce of information on command about her day, I let it go. What I did take note of was her behavior: she was happy and wanted to go to school. Was she learning? I suppose. Sophia had a good command of the information required for kindergarten prior to entrance. What she was always lacking was the fine motor skills - and we had been working on that for a l-o-n-g time as we continue to do so. But one other note: she came home with some phone numbers of girls who wanted playdates. I checked in with the teacher and her OT periodically, and let the rest go. She was healthy, happy, and progressing.
So here I am with Zach. I ask him how is day was and I sometimes get a "Goot." response, most likely rote from running "How are you?" in discrete trials in his home program. Having learned from Sophia, I paid attention to his behavior: he was happy and wanted to go to school. We went to the Family Night Bookfair at the school: Zach seemed happy to go and didn't show even a wince at entering the school - and in fact walked to his classroom with his Daddy and seemed frustrated when Steve would not let him enter the room. Did he want to show us where he spent his day??
The Jog-A-Thon is a fundraiser the school PTA does to raise funds for their activities at teh year. It involves the kids doing laps in the bus circle in front of the school and people paying donations per lap. Both my kids did it. Zach was silly and distracted and I ended up running the circle with him a bunch of times to give the Special Education teacher a break. But he did it - and a few of his classmates (particularly one precious little Julianne) cheered him on, even took his hand to encourage him to keep going.
Then on Columbus Day - Babcia Morphet and I decided to take Zach to the zoo while Sophia had a field trip with her Girl Scout troop. Did I happen to mention that I think Sophia got into the best troop with the greatest leader in the area? I had decided after our last trip to the zoo where Steve was chastised for having Zach in a stroller by a fellow patron - that with Babcia there to help - we would see how far Zach could walk on his own. And yes - some stranger did say something rude to Steve about having such an old child in a stroller. UUggghh.
So, off we went, it was a beautiful fall day. And we were managing pretty darn well. Babcia and I were so excited to come upon 3 baby Siberian tigers - they were so cute! We spent time at the Asian elephant exhibit - something the Syracuse is known for. As we were spending time in this area - I heard a little voice say: "Hi Zach!" I look over and a little boy was standing next to Zach. I asked him: "Honey, did you hear me call him Zach?" to which the little boy responded: "No - Zach is in my class with me!" What a thrill this was to experience. And that sort of was a clincher for me - a classmate thought enough of Zach to say hello to him. This outside incident made me feel good about the unknown of what was taking place in his classroom.
Zach's special education teacher and speech language pathologist also spent a few hours here at our house and met with one of Zach's private paraprofessionals. They got to tune into what sorts of things we work on here to help support what was going on in the classroom, and what strategies have the biggest pay off with motivating him.
Outside of school, Zach began to enjoy the monkey bars in our backyard these past few weeks. One day, the weather was cold, it was pouring rain out, and I heard the alarm for the door opening go off. There Zach was - running off into the rainy cold day right to the playset. I donned my jacket and rainboots and met him where we went on to do 10 iterations of going across the monkey bars in the 54 degree pouring rain. I cannot even imagine what the neighbors must think. But he was so happy.
We have had some really decent weather these past few weeks and Zach's interest in climbing and the monkey bars has continued. I feel so connected to him this way - I LOVED climbing when I was a kid - and still like to try and navigate my way up an old maple when given the chance. The joy of fitting your foot into a crook to gain leverage to raise yourself up another 12" from the ground can feel empowering and freeing. That's my boy.
Zach is not able to tell me how is day was due to his limited communication. The teacher occasionally sends me an email or writes in his take home notebook about any concerns. These were frequent at the onset of the year, and have greatly diminished as time has gone on. When I originally was thinking - I can't ask Zach how his day went, I then thought back to Sophia and how I when I would ask her, she would answer "Good" I then would ask: "What did you do?" only to receive the inevitable: "I don't know."
I remember looking into this, and getting advice about asking more specific questions: "What was your favorite thing you did today?" Sophie: "All of it." Then I would ask: "What was your least favorite part?" Sophie: "I liked it all, Momma!" Me: "Who did you play with?" Sophia: "Everyone." Me: "Can you show me something you learned today?" Sophia: "Mom - I'm tired." Yup - so much for that expert internet advice.
In the fact that I was not able to get my uber-communicationaly-abled daughter to give me one ounce of information on command about her day, I let it go. What I did take note of was her behavior: she was happy and wanted to go to school. Was she learning? I suppose. Sophia had a good command of the information required for kindergarten prior to entrance. What she was always lacking was the fine motor skills - and we had been working on that for a l-o-n-g time as we continue to do so. But one other note: she came home with some phone numbers of girls who wanted playdates. I checked in with the teacher and her OT periodically, and let the rest go. She was healthy, happy, and progressing.
So here I am with Zach. I ask him how is day was and I sometimes get a "Goot." response, most likely rote from running "How are you?" in discrete trials in his home program. Having learned from Sophia, I paid attention to his behavior: he was happy and wanted to go to school. We went to the Family Night Bookfair at the school: Zach seemed happy to go and didn't show even a wince at entering the school - and in fact walked to his classroom with his Daddy and seemed frustrated when Steve would not let him enter the room. Did he want to show us where he spent his day??
The Jog-A-Thon is a fundraiser the school PTA does to raise funds for their activities at teh year. It involves the kids doing laps in the bus circle in front of the school and people paying donations per lap. Both my kids did it. Zach was silly and distracted and I ended up running the circle with him a bunch of times to give the Special Education teacher a break. But he did it - and a few of his classmates (particularly one precious little Julianne) cheered him on, even took his hand to encourage him to keep going.
Then on Columbus Day - Babcia Morphet and I decided to take Zach to the zoo while Sophia had a field trip with her Girl Scout troop. Did I happen to mention that I think Sophia got into the best troop with the greatest leader in the area? I had decided after our last trip to the zoo where Steve was chastised for having Zach in a stroller by a fellow patron - that with Babcia there to help - we would see how far Zach could walk on his own. And yes - some stranger did say something rude to Steve about having such an old child in a stroller. UUggghh.
So, off we went, it was a beautiful fall day. And we were managing pretty darn well. Babcia and I were so excited to come upon 3 baby Siberian tigers - they were so cute! We spent time at the Asian elephant exhibit - something the Syracuse is known for. As we were spending time in this area - I heard a little voice say: "Hi Zach!" I look over and a little boy was standing next to Zach. I asked him: "Honey, did you hear me call him Zach?" to which the little boy responded: "No - Zach is in my class with me!" What a thrill this was to experience. And that sort of was a clincher for me - a classmate thought enough of Zach to say hello to him. This outside incident made me feel good about the unknown of what was taking place in his classroom.
Zach's special education teacher and speech language pathologist also spent a few hours here at our house and met with one of Zach's private paraprofessionals. They got to tune into what sorts of things we work on here to help support what was going on in the classroom, and what strategies have the biggest pay off with motivating him.
Outside of school, Zach began to enjoy the monkey bars in our backyard these past few weeks. One day, the weather was cold, it was pouring rain out, and I heard the alarm for the door opening go off. There Zach was - running off into the rainy cold day right to the playset. I donned my jacket and rainboots and met him where we went on to do 10 iterations of going across the monkey bars in the 54 degree pouring rain. I cannot even imagine what the neighbors must think. But he was so happy.
We have had some really decent weather these past few weeks and Zach's interest in climbing and the monkey bars has continued. I feel so connected to him this way - I LOVED climbing when I was a kid - and still like to try and navigate my way up an old maple when given the chance. The joy of fitting your foot into a crook to gain leverage to raise yourself up another 12" from the ground can feel empowering and freeing. That's my boy.
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