Beach Day Drug?

I am sunburned - Sophie is a little pink on the neck and cheeks, and Zach is clear. I feel so guilty that Sophia got nailed. I sprayed her down on 3 occasions, and even had her wearing a long sleeve rash guard, applying sunblock to the back of her ears and part line in hair, but alas I missed a few important areas. The beach was a blast. All of Zach's therapists showed up and we took along Babcia Morphet for an extra set of (very much needed) hands.

We met another family out who also has a 5 year old daughter and 2 year old son on the spectrum. In fact, our little beach picnic was their idea and a good one at that.

Zach wanted very little to do with the playground where N. (Zach's counterpart from the other family) was all about the playground. That was OK. He has established himself as a fish instead.

Liz took Zach to the edge of the lake and had to contain him from running in since the lake didn't open for swimming until 11 and we were there at 10am. Once swimming commenced, Zach could care less if I was around. He loved going in with Ali and Liz - I could see the big grin from 100 feet away. As the day progressed, and Liz left, Cocoa the speech therapist arrived. We pulled him begrudgingly from the lake, and got him to eat a little and play with Cocoa for about 15 minutes. But that was it, he wanted back in that water.

And back in the water we went. He was roaring (literally) with excitement. He was beyond happy, he was downright euphoric. I can tell you that I have never seen him so happy and for so long in his entire life.

If I had to wager a guess, I would put my money on him getting a lot of sensory input from the pressure and subtle movements of the water. He went in up to his chin and loved it. At one point, standing on his tippy toes to keep his head above water (and within a foot of Mom's reach), Zach tipped over and under he went. Frantically, I reached for him and popped him above the water. I was scared. He was spitting and sputtering, his eyes blinking and dripping with lake water, and I asked him if he was OK. Nothing. I asked him again. "I OK" he finally replied.

Thinking he would be a little freaked, I picked him up and started for more shallow water. To my surprise, he wiggled out of my arms and back in he went. Next thing you know,(there he goes!) under the water he went only to pop up a moment later with a big smile on his face. He shrieked with delight. He repeated this heart stopping (for Mom) feat several times in a row. Ali's parents who were on the beach watching the event, and likely not understanding the magnitude of his enjoyment of the water for me, said later that all they could see was a little green baseball cap floating in the water, popping up again and again.

Meanwhile, Sophia having a friend, who happened to be a girl, to play with who was on her energy level made her a very happy camper. She was in and out of the water with A. They found others to play with, a little too rough at times, to which Babcia intervened. She ate heartily at lunchtime and back she went to swim and make sand ponds.

Joy, happiness. I feel like this is so simple a pleasure for others, likely taken for granted. There were no tantrums - no, not even when we left; they had their fill. We attended a graduation party in Rochester, NY that same evening. I was giddy the whole one-in-a-half hours down the thruway. Steve likely had no understanding why. I don't even think I realized how happy I was until I realized I had been so happy for, well, hours, and that just hasn't happened in a very long, long time. Seeing my children happy, doing things that are good for them, typical, with others, no stares, no tantrums, just happiness for 5 hours.

A dream came true for me yesterday; I was able to witness pleasure in my children, unabated, innocent, unfettered happiness with no thoughts of what they can't do, what they might do, of disability. It was as if I finally found that happy pill. My heart filled with hopes and expectations that linger around, but all too often, seem like forbidden fruit. Don't take a bite, remember you will never have this. But we did!

Joy, happiness, even for just one whole day. Amen.