Zach is definitely been going through something, although I'll be darned into thinking I can describe it with any clarity. I try to think of him clinically - how many words is he able to say? how often are they spontaneous? any inappropriate behaviors? does he respond to requests? does he imitate behavior? does he initiate social contact? does he have repetitive motor movements? does he perseverate on a single word or activity? what are his motor skills like? how has his eye contact been? These things all whirl around me head at any given moment.
I feel that we are still under a great deal of stress, but, like many things that require more efforts, we are getting used to the level of difficulty.
Zach's speech has become more clear. He has uttered some new words and some (perhaps even most) of it can be credited to the tubes in his ears. What words you ask? Well "booger" and "bacon". I can assure you that we have not officially worked on those in any therapeutic setting.
He is also trying real hard to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". I love that he will be playing by himself and sing this to himself. Very sweet.
Zach is loving the warmer weather. LOL Yes, I have to laugh at this, since it is May 9 (Mother's Day 2010) and it snowed for over 5 hours here in Syracuse today. (Once again, my procrastination has paid off, and my tomatoes have been spared as they sit in my garage unplanted.) He really loves his playset, climbing the rockwall, sliding down the slide, and swinging, and swinging, and swinging.
Sophia does not like to swing. Never has. I remember getting a baby swing as a shower gift, and after going through year 1 of Sophia's life, thinking that swings were a total waste of $$$. Then along came Monsieur Zachary, and it's worth became a lot more valuable. Zach has taken to the swing very well, and holds on independently like a trooper (has since he was quite young). I am having a helluva time trying to show him how to pump, so for now, I just push him. I actually will grab the swing while he is up, and make him say "push" for me to give him an extra push and let him continue on. As for mechanical mobile devices, there is interest but either not an understanding of action/reaction or really bad motor planning issues. He refuses to pedal or steer his tricycle at home, although reports from school indicate he has done it, to some extent there. *sigh* As for the scooter which I know he was interested in after watching the neighbors daughter do it, it makes me laugh every time I see him get on it. I bought him a scooter with a wider base (thinking it would be easier to stabilize and balance on.) Zach will stand on it with both feet holding the handles appearing to wait for it to move on it's own, as if it were a Segway.
He is interested in balls, but has not a clue what sports are, nor can he really play a game of catch. He loves water, and I am unable to bring him to Sophia's swimming lessons, since he wines and tantrum to jump in the pool the whole time we are there. I need to get him lessons or therapy or something! Of course, I cringe at thinking about trying to get ear plugs into those little ears without a fight.
He is eating well, as usual, broccoli, carrots, corn, peas, strawberries, raspberries, melon, cucumbers, apples, bananas, chicken nuggets, turkey, beef and chicken hot dogs (organic, no nitrite/nitrate varieties) , bacon, pan fried ham, rice, mashed potatoes and french fries, gluten free pastas (I really like the quinoa), coconut/almond/rice milk. We make homemade breads and baked goods for him (to die for chocolate chip peanut butter cookies and very yummy waffles/pancakes) and he eats a host of gluten free casein free snacks such as pretzels, potato chips, fruit snacks, Tings, faux graham crackers, crackers. I think that reducing the amount of grains/carbs he is getting really helps to create a healthier diet for him - he is so much more interested in fruits and veggies than so many other kids, and especially his sister Sophia. He eats a variety, but we have noticed that he is still set in his ways - only eating the store bought GFCF chicken nuggets, and not my homemade for instance. He won't eat my meatballs (Sophia gives them a thumbs up.) Steve and I are short order cooks around here.
We are still not even close to the potty training. It exhausts me to just think about it. He attempts other self care activities, including brushing his teeth and flossing, taking his socks off and attempting to put them on, unzippering and zippering various items of clothing, but he has a way to go in terms of dressing himself. I am always amazed during evaluations of what they consider to be normal for dressing - Sophia still cannot do buttons or snaps!
Zach is doing well with letter recognition and the associated phonetics. How he is managing to learn letter recognition prior to him knowing how to speak fluently just makes me shake my head. I know this gestalt thing is likely the culprit, but it still messes with my mind to see him accomplish some things that he does in the order he does. It's a great reminder for me to never give up on him when it appears he doesn't get it.
Socially, he still prefers adults to other children, with the exception of small groups of NT boys around Sophia's age. I only wish we had more access to boys for him to hang with. Most of the typical kids in Zach's classroom are girls. He seems to really like to watch them engaged in sports. I still find it funny that it is apparent every once in awhile, for his preference to males over females. I suppose if I had all these daunting chicks hovering over me all the time, I would need a little testosterone presence in my life too.
I would never had guessed that a kid on the spectrum could smile as much as Zach does, nor to show so much affection to his mother. I have to tell you that I feel he loves me and is happy as much as I do Sophia - actually, I might even know it more for him! Sophia has become rigid and occasionally mean to me. Almost like a young teenager. She tells me what to do, rather than ask, and fights me on just about every request I make of her. I have had it out with her a few times the last month. I also know that she is currently really stressed out.
Sophia has begun to bite her finger nails. Might not sound like too big of a deal. But it gets worse. She is chewing on everything, like a teething toddler. Mind you, she is losing teeth and getting adult teeth (she has lost 3, and 2 adult teeth have come in). I am wondering if this is creating a lot of sensory issues for her. I have given her chewy tubes, no interest, and chewing gum, she swallowed it. I have found a cool whip container chewed on, a cup, a few boxes we had, towels around the house, and of course those nails. When I ask her if she is OK - she says yes. I question her specifically, and nothing stands out, with the exception of a falling out with her previously known best friend. Heather has begun to make remarks to Sophia like "purple is boring", trite to you and me, but basically denigrating my daughter's 5 year old identity. SOphia loves purple and to a 5 year old girl, such a thing as a color preference is such a huge part of their world. Heather also makes fun of Sophia's other choices and wants to dominate their playtime together. Sophia is often left in a ball of tears. I originally thought to let them work it out between the two of them, I am sure Sophia is no angel, and likely contributing to their discord too. She needs to learn social skills. But this chewing thing, and the stress the family is under has me rethinking that tune. I know a little bit about what Sophia is like - I see a bit of myself in her, for better or worse. I know that she is a pretty sensitive kid who lacks social understanding. That was (is?) me. It breaks my heart to think that she will likely have her heart broken a few times, long before any boy comes around. I would become very attached to friends, but was not good at keeping them around. My interests were rigid and narrow, my academic interests were a turn off. And my ability to relate, understand what was being said to me, especially in social circumstances, lacks such depth. Furthermore, I have a hard time acknowledging a person's thoughts and feelings without getting totally wrapped up in my own emotions which is a huge turn off to people. I hope she can find her way better than I did.
For now, there is ballet, swimming, soccer starts next week, the occasional play date, the never ending birthday parties ( I am convinced that September/October is peak mating season in Camillus) and all the day to day things like homework, learning site words, riding our bike around the block, reading books, etc.
I was glad to hear at the Mother's Day family round table today that a sibling of mine attended some sort of autism awareness training at her place of employment. She recalled learning that many children on the spectrum do not have mental retardation and some other facts. She said a few times to me "It was like you said", which left me wondering "Did you think I was making this stuff up?" LOL Of course, I am grateful that she is trying. My other sibling passed along a local family life publication from this month in which the whole edition was concentrated on special needs. She also passed a telephone number for a nurse at the hospital where she works who has an 8 year old with autism and was a parent advocate at one time. I appreciate the efforts of both of my siblings to try and understand what we are going through. I didn't receive any tangible gifts for mother's day, but these were more significant to me anyhow.
The house is a mess, two of my tomato plants are dead (damn snow), tomorrow we are off to Rochester to get Zach evaluated, again, and life just keeps on moving forward. Oh yeah - in other big news, received a phone call a few weeks ago from my dear MIL (mother-in-law) and she sold her house (finally) in NC. She is moving up here in a few weeks! That's sure to change the dynamics around here. Here's hoping!
Our current motto: Expect change, expect taxes, and expect the unexpected.
2 comments:
Happy belated Mother's Day. It's always interesting for me to read your posts about Zach and Sophia. They are both beautiful children. We read the picture book recently called Leo the Late Bloomer. I definitely thought of Zach when I read it - highly recommend it.
Wow, he eats a lot of foods. TC is just now eating pb&j on wheat bread. I think he is tired of chicken nuggets..he has eaten them for so long.
And he loves to swing. LOVES IT!
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