The "Real" World: Butterflies, Ladybugs, Black Cats and Cake

Yes we went to Yale. Yes we made it home OK. The trip was informative, difficult, and affirmative all at the same time. Still processing and will post more about it when given the chance, so expect that sometime in 2015.

Want to do a quick post to talk about things Zach is up to. Prefer to write about these things anyhow and not yucky trips to institutions that use words like progress, standardized scores, and deviation.

Zach shocked the heck out of us at his birthday party this past weekend. On Saturday we had a very informal play-date/birthday party and he promptly ignored the other children with the exception of one child whom took his hat off and Zach later went up to him and put his hat back on him. Nothing substantial to report on Zach's behalf, but great friends who showed up without the promises of all the gimmicks of the great American birthday party - just an offer for unorganized play and cupcakes. You start to realize who your friends are at these events.

Then there was the family party the next day. He saw the cake Steve had purchased for him and went nuts for him. Being that we wanted to eat dinner first, and then have cake, we hid the cake out of sight and allowed Zach to open one present to divert his attention. At some point this tactic no longer worked, and while I was in the living room with the grandma's, much of the company watching the Giant's game in the family room, I heard Zach in the kitchen say to Steve, with gusto I might add, "I want a treat!". I ran into the kitchen and Steve told me that Zach totally spontaneously uttered this COMPLETE SENTENCE on his own, without prompting! We ran the cake into the dining room, rushed everyone in, cut the cake and gave Zach a piece, all while singing "Happy Birthday" without candles on the cake. I am not sure if my family understood 1) the necessity of giving the Zach the cake right away after his request (need to reinforce what he asked for so he will do it again) and 2) why this was such a big deal. Zach said his first complete sentence on his own and it was appropriate. Can you tell I am a little excited about this?

Then this past few days - Zach noticed and interacted with the three gazillion lady bugs outside our house, he chased a butterfly in our lawn, and he pursued and grabbed and petted our neighbors cat who was gracious with Zach's not-so-gentle touch. This cat has certainly endeared himself to me! Now, if you are thinking this sounds like no big deal and why would I possibly bore you with this - I want you to get down on your knees right now and thank the good Lord for not having a child who is unaware of the world around him. This, in Zach's case, has been part of his autism. This seemingly ambivalence to many things of living form is heart breaking to many a parent. It breaks your heart to have to share your child with a world you are in, and one you are not part of. I feel constant pulls between these two worlds, and for once in my life, I feel like I can say that Zach is more part of our world than his own. It might only be a 55%/45% split right now, but it is slowly edging up. I don't need for him to be 100% - in fact, I have learned to be in that other world myself, and am willing to meet him part way. But I still need him to be here just a bit more - to function enough so that he can understand the power of communication, and then have the ability to communicate his desire and needs so that they can be met. This is my goal for him right now - to more throughly understand who he is so I can help him to be all he wants to be.