What's next? Surprises.

So here we are in 2009. No real resolutions being made - just trying to figure out this new world we are living in.

Trying to stay normal is the hardest part for me. This is so intense at times, I feel like there is so much for us to learn; I am constantly reading books, talking to professionals, talking to other parents with kids on the spectrum, documenting what is going on, case managing Zach, researching on the Internet. I have a hard time having a normal conversation with anyone. My thoughts almost always lead me to something to do with ASD. I am sure people get annoyed with me this way. Why can't I just talk about the latest restaurant, band, political event, whatever like everyone else? Because if I look up I might miss something crucial.

But there have been some surprises with people wanting to reach out to our family. A few friends have contacted me, sometimes just to talk about life like we used to pre-diagnosis, some to get updated on what is going on. A cousin of Steve's has provided references to people who know a lot about ABA therapy. An aunt called to check in with Steve at Thanksgiving time. I know he appreciated that. Christmas cards were terrific with people writing to wish us a great holiday and sending notes all giving us some hope and support. An Aunt of mine told me that she read this very blog. I was so touched, and she probably never realized how much. I know she is going through some pretty serious health issues of her own, and like my mother, is limited in what pain medications she can take and what can be done to help her. This really blew me away. So many people care. We are so lucky.

Today Sophie will be going with her cousin to have some special time. She may even go to her first movie in a movie theater. I can remember very clearly taking this same niece to some of her first movies. I loved loved loved spending time with my nieces and nephews. Still do. They are all pretty much adults and living their own lives, and are frequently too busy to spend time with their old cranky aunt with the crazy family, as is the natural progression of life. I will always cherish those trips to the zoo or the science museum or the park, but mostly the sleepovers where we would dance around in our PJs and watch movies and eat junk food. I will always view each of them through those memories. I was so lucky their parents shared them with me!

My friends are terrific too. My friend called and is going to take Sophie for a bit tomorrow and then have us over for lunch. She has three kids 4 and under and she is going to tack on one more. She is probably one of the best mothers I have ever met. (I am frequently jealous of her ability to keep schedule with her kids and seem so calm and have an active social life.)

So if anyone has been wondering what they can do and they don't want to buy a book as mentioned in another post - look at what some of these others have done. An occasional phone call, email, or card to let us know you are thinking of us is always appreciated. Bake us some cookies, make us dinner, tell us whats going on in your life, stop by and visit us, invite us over to your house, or just read this blog. Those are all great ways to support us and we appreciate it all.

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Zach told Sophie he loved her after she told him a few days ago. I was there to witness it this time. I am ecstatic over this. I don't care that he couldn't say it to me or his Dad. His sister has really been itching to have him talk, and wondering if he loves her like she does him. This was a terrific present and more important for me to hear him say it to her than to me. Sophie is going to be a rock in Zach's life- I just know it. She really likes him and loves him. and I know she will stand up for him whenever she can, most likely with that bully kid at school that will call Zach a retard or something equally cruel. Oh... how I don't look forward to those events.

Maybe not. Maybe by the time Zach is in school, more kids will understand and be compassionate. Maybe no one will ever notice that he is a little different. What surprises lie in store for us - the next year will likely give us a pretty good glimpse of what is in store for our future. Surprises.