Homeschool anyone? Lessons I am learning.

CNN headline: GAO report: Special-needs kids abused in schools

I cannot believe it. Yesterday was a beautiful day, the sun was out, the temperatures were perfectly comfortable, the kids slept through the night, and my niece showed up for babysitting the kids and I could tell something was wrong. My niece was the one who called us to tell us that the car was missing. She also was the one to file the report for us because someone had to be physically present to file the report. Well, apparently, the Camillus police decided to try and accuse her of doing it. This makes no sense for so many reasons, that I am not going to waste the ASCII characters. M.'s big brown eyes had a look I recognized since she was a small young child. I was ticked that they had accused her of this, and knew she was hurting, because that is the type of person she is. I can remember her wailing as a child while watching the movie E.T. My mother and I will recount that story every now and again - M. is a sensitive person.

With all the commotion, I totally blew it. It was written on 3 separate calendar's but that means nothing. My memory is shot. We missed Sophia's big meeting with the school district. How could we? I am so angry with myself.

Thanks to Sophia's angel, also known as her occupational therapist D., Sophia will continue to receive services this summer and next year in school. I am so totally excited. D. really advocated for Sophia - she is a terrific therapist and really takes care of her kids. What would have happened if we didn't have her? Rewards must be bestowed...

Yesterday, the Government Accounting Office released a report entitled "Selected Cases of Death and Abuse at Public and Private Schools and Treatment Centers". The report discusses the use of restraints and seclusion. It does not discuss if using restraints and seclusion are beneficial. It discusses the problems found when using these. A review of several cases of abuse of these methods read as follows:

The cases share the following common themes: they involved children with disabilities who were restrained and secluded, often in cases where they were not physically aggressive and their parents did not give consent

After reading the report, I wept. I will not debate using restraints or seclusion. I understand why educators may need these with certain children. What made me so upset is knowing that some people are in the wrong line of work, and rather than doing the right thing, they have abused, some even killed children, children who were of the most vulnerable stature, who their parents thought were getting appropriate care and trying to better their lives. And many of these teachers are still out there teaching.

To read the report, the GAO has it on their website.
To read an article about the report check out this at CNN.com.

Soapbox time. I have some friends who are teachers. I have little doubt that they are good at what they do. This is not directed at them, and likely a majority of the teachers out there who are doing good work. Some people go into teaching to be a teacher, and some go into it to teach. What do I mean? Some people want all the perks of teaching: summers off, decent pay (at least in NY), good benefits, pension, job security if tenured, lots of vacation. Some of these people skirt their way through the system, doing what is minimally required to keep their job. Others out there want to be teachers, meaning they have a genuine interest in providing knowledge and learning skills to students of all types. They recognize the difficulties of the position, and take the challenge. Some of these teachers are more gifted than others, but these types of teachers make a difference, although they likely don't receive the accolades they deserve. Those who do the minimally required are doing a huge disservice to our children, and thus our future.

In the analysis, I realized this holds true in many professions, but most commercial professions, especially in hard economic times, don't tolerate minimum work. Take it from me - I am on the hit list at work right now because of my inconsistent schedule.

Engineering has been a lucrative and enlightening career choice. It definitely suited me. Steve and I got along so well because our common interest in most things electronic and science related. However, I don't know if it ever was my passion. At this point, I feel like I am doing a disservice to my profession and the customer's I serve. I am becoming like those very teachers I criticized above, complacent and doing the base minimum. I am just not the sort of person who will ever feel good about themselves if they aren't able to do a good job. That is why I went down to part time status in the first place when I had children, I knew those little rug rats would be a distraction.

Life is not easy - for anyone I might add. Work is difficult. Life holds in it many distractions. I am terrible about not being easily distracted. If my zeal for what I was doing was as strong as the emotions I have from the challenges I face, perhaps work would not be a problem. But it is. It is becoming more of a funding source than anything else.

Has anyone ever taken any of those career choice personality tests before? They try to tell you career choices based on personality type. This is helpful to a point. I know I am reasonably smart, analytical and like some control of what I am working on. Yup. I take these tests a lot, and really feel like they offer very little. What I finally realized is they never hilighted something that really drives me emotionally. I look back at my life now and see a very strong personality trait (for better or worse) that I never realized I had before: I hate injustice, especially to the weak and vulnerable. I won't necessarily stand up for myself very well in many situations, but if I feel someone is taking advantage of someone else, I go berserk. More so than most people, I now realize. In fact, people think I am a little strange this way.

I watch out therapists come in and out of the house, and I wish I had their gifts. It takes each therapist at least 3 sessions to drill into my humble little brain how I should be working with Zach. I just don't have it, and have been so disappointed that way. But I want to do something to help Zach and the others out their in need.

I have begun looking at law programs with a disability component, a lo' and behold, in our very own backyard, Syracuse University not only has such a program, it is one of the few universities with a specific programs for this. It is really clear to me what I should be doing. But at $43,000 a year tuition - I have no idea how we could manage it, especially at Zach's bills estimated at $50,000 next year, and the loss of income from my job. If God's hand is involved in all this, I want to see what trick he has up his sleeve in getting the financial stuff figured out.

Feeling a bit neglected by God lately, I have to find a way to make this work if for no other reason than as a model for my kids. My children have taught me more about myself than I could ever teach them.