Jean Valjean

Second time is the charm. The sore tooth appears to have finally taken the hint and gave me some peace. About time. It all started in October 2008 - almost one year and I can finally eat on the left side of my face.

OK - so does anyone else think it's great that the President called Kanye West a "jackass".

Zach had another "he's happy" day at school. Happy is OK. I would like to see him progressing. I know that he has only been there since last Wednesday - but I really would like to see them placing some demands on him. Compliance is not one of Zach's strong suites. The kid is amazingly cute - blond, blue eyed, smiley, dimples, but when you ask him to do something, all bets are off.

The school requested copies of Zach's current programs and testing. It looks like they are gearing up to start actually getting down to business. This will hopefully be start of some nice skills.

So far, though, so good. He seems to be transitioning well, in fact , when Steve dropped him off at school today, he didn't cry. We are mimicking all the meals that are served at the preschool with GFCF items. That is keeping Steven very busy. I am hoping he may expand his repetoire further by seeing other children eat these things - but I can't complain about his current level of variety.

Zach has also taken a particular interest in some flash cards Babcia Morphet purchased with numbers and Thomas the Tank Engine characters on them. Thomas is very reinforcing to Zach right now. I am hoping we can see if we can conquer his numbers within the next month using these cards.

Sophia has made a friend on the bus. Her name is Heather. And from what Sophia has told me, she is fat. Uhhh... How did I handle this one? Well, first off, Sophia told me she wanted to be fat like Heather. Uhhh, no. I told her that being fat is unhealthy, so we don't want that. Then I told her that she shouldn't tell Heather that she thinks she's fat, because it likely would hurt her feelings. Sophia's response? "Momma, she probably already knows!" Yup. Sophia is so incredible this way - she sees being fat, as she does being black, as she does being tall, as she does having red hair. They are attributes that are interesting, but how could they be hurtful? She is such a great kid.

After reading a recent Newsweek article on baby's and racism, I was interested in seeing how Sophia responded to some questions about skin color. Sophia makes me so happy - she is the nondiscriminating person I wish I was. When on a recent trip to North Carolina, she went up to a guy in a wheelchair and and started talking to him about his dog (also who had a wheelchair.) She also went up to a bunch a Mexican immigrant workers after acquiring a new toy and asked them if they wanted to see what was behind her back - she had her new toy hidden there. That same trip she approached two young black children and asked if she could play with them. They were taken back at first, but when she had to leave, the one little boy gave her some play money they had been playing with as a gift and flashed a smile and waved goodbye. If ever I were to have any pride in my child, these would have to be the moments I will always remember. No judgment, opening herself up to those who are different without even a second thought. Nothing will ever make me more proud than seeing my daughter do what she does best - reach out to people. I can't wait to see where that will take her in life; I am sure she will get hurt by it sooner or later, but I truly think she has a gift that way.

So I asked Sophia if she thought that people with white skin were nice, and she said "yeah". I asked her "do you think people with black skin are nice?" Her response: " I only really know one person with black skin, and that is Megan, and yeah, she is very nice!." It'll be interesting to monitor this now that she is in school.

I had to fill out paperwork while at the dentist's office today - it asked me my profession. Whoa. Couldn't believe how much it made me trip. After deliberation, I wrote in SAHM. I feel like some people will likely have lower expectations of me when they see this. I guess I was sort of proud of my profession? Weird. I am no longer an electrical engineer. I spent several years of my life educating myself for this, many more years working in this, and now it is just something in my past, like an old boyfriend or pair of sneaks.

I feel so selfish for feeling lost without this identity. It seemed to command some amount of respect or purpose I suppose. But it never has been who I am.

I look at the cirriculumn up at SU in law and special ed, and I think that is what I want. But I can barely get the hosue picked up- how would I ever pursue this?

I guess I just want to be somebody else, not some has been. I have to figure out who I am. For now, I am 24601.