Feeling kind of blue today. It was a hot one by Syracuse's standards, managing to get over 80 degrees. I was inside trying to get through the household chores. I didn't even come close. I made several phone calls, and got several answering devices in return. One phone call particularly has me upset - to Zach's pediatrician. I have asked him to look over what the integrative pediatrician recommended for testing - she wants to test for serum ferritin levels (low iron has been show ton increase inattentiveness) , carnitine and zinc (carintine deficiency can cause brain abnormalities and vomiting and zinc deficiencies can cause motor issues, both deficits are common to kids on the spectrum), serum Vitamin D level (highly probably for most kids on the spectrum and anyone living in Syracuse for sure), and genetic testing for MTHFR deficiency. I also wanted him to write me a script for orthotics as Zach's PT requested and sent him a letter, substantiating the request. Nothing. One week had passed, so I made a call to the office. Now over a day has passed, and still no response. If he doesn't want to run the tests, than a quick reason why not would be OK with me. I cannot for the life of my understand about why the orthotics might be a big deal. No response? Wow. That's, like, so 3rd grade. I think it is time for a new doctor who can act professionally.
These sorts of things weigh me down and for some reason, next thing you know I feel stuck in some sort of hole. My thoughts go to feeling like nothing is working out and no one wants to help us. I hear stories from mothers going through similar things and how they were quick to deal with these things in such an intelligent, and firm manner. For some reason this does not inspire me, I feel as though I don't have their strength and quick wit when dealing with situations, and instead I feel useless and incompetent. Sprial spiral sprial, down down down.
So I am at BJs and I am checking out with two kids in tow and 45 minutes to get everything I need, get out, and get home, and prepare for the next therapy session. As I go into the self checkout lane, a fellow approximately 10 years my junior gets in back of me. As I go through self- checkout in my usual manner, scanning credit cards, packing the cart, dealing with kids, he looks at me and says "Multitasking, eh?". I said: "It's how I operate - the only way to get it all in." To which he replied: "Well, you are good at it!"
There is no way in the world that this man has any idea that he totally pulled my out of the abyss. I am shocked that this simple compliment was able to lift my spirits so high that rather than spin out of control, as I was beginning to, I energetically got through the rest of my day on target. Not only that, but there was a special surprise in store for me.
A new itinerant therapist was in training this week with our current therapist. I had been hearing in my head the sound of cash registers going off. And then I heard some running around and the cheering. Our primary therapist came down and indicated that Zach, in the middle of a discrete trial (where they work on a specific skill repetitively) said the word "pee pee". Both therapists then whisked him off to the bathroom, where they got him on the potty, and yes, you got it - he peed in the potty! WHOA!
Attended another resource fair and met some parents that I have only spoken to on the phone or email. It was great to talk to one Mom who has 5 kids - 3 of them on the spectrum. As I was discussing Zach and his new toileting success, I made my typical skeptical remark about "Not seeing that again likely anytime soon." Well, she scolded me. I told her I have heard the (not so positive) stories from other parents - and she reminded me that that was their stories and we have ours. I realized I shouldn't devalue my son's potential - he doesn't have some of the issues other kids have. Perhaps he will toilet train well, when we decide to try it again. He has skills, he is cute, he smiles, he has some words. I am just always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is it my engineering training of looking at worst case scenarios? Is it my upbringing, the way Mom made me overly cautious about life and playing it safe? Is it life itself and how many unpleasant surprises we have had? Is it my personality?? Probably yes to all of it. I know I am not in control, but I do feel like I drive this vessel; I cannot determine what is going to come my way, be it clear calm waters or a hurricane, but I can choose which way to move my sail.
In the end, I think of the man from BJs. And I get a warm and fuzzy. I realize it is important to do this for others as well. You just never know if you are the one to help pull someone out of their own personal abyss.
1 comment:
Wow, potty? I'm envious! And glad the guy at BJ's lifted your spirits, too. :-)
I know when I've gotten bent out of shape bc I didn't hear back from a doctor, it's usually something simple like they'r out of the office for a few days or the fax was put in their in-box but not with the chart, etc. Unless you've had trouble w/your ped before, I'd say give the benefit of the doubt and call the office and ask for a return call from the doctor to discuss your requests (or ask the front office staff if the doc has acted on your requests yet).
Post a Comment