I received an email today from someone about a family who just got diagnosed, son age 3. I contacted the mother who is in a state of grieving for sure. The situation irritates me because this child was once again in Early Intervention for awhile before getting diagnosed, but that alone does not irritate me: Early Intervention told them to wait until the transition to the school district can take place, this May, before adding services. 3 months of continuing not enough services. Do these people not believe in what they do? The whole point of EI is to act early and act intensely to alter the course of these children's lives? And what do they tell this parent? Wait. uuggghhh.
The mother said that she thinks they didn't want to overwhelm her. I guess I thought that EI was for the child, not the parent. Why do parent's feelings take precedence over the child's welfare? If this was cancer, and you waited diagnosis and treatment because you didn't want to overwhelm the parent would this not be considered negligence? Why is this different?
I understand the difficulties in having to address this with parents, I really do. But there are still ways of dealing with this. First off, what about a reporting chain? Tell it to your supervisor and let them deal with it? Or how about recommend an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician and have him deal with it? Yes, it's deferring it to someone else - but that someone else likely has more experience doing it, and can deal with it better - but at least it gets dealt with.
There is never a good time to have a flat tire, and there is never a good time to find out your kid has issues. Don't delay the inevitable. Why not? Two reasons come to mind rather quickly:
1) Studies and anecdotal evidence show that early intervention WORKS and can make a big difference in the abilities of these children
2) Parents may kick themselves one day for not intervening sooner- and those feeling will be worse then the denial they may initially go through.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Another evaluation and the wall
Zach had his third evaluation today (of the we've got a kid on the spectrum type of evals that is). It technically is his 5th since July. 2.5 hours of pure fun, me in one room with Zach and two women (an SLP and a psychologist) and Steve hidden behind the glass with 4 others (a social worker, OT, PT, special ed and another psychologist). He did well, whatever that means.
He didn't tantrum a lot, and he stuck with all the the tests like a little trooper, although he wasn't able to understand many tasks presented to him because he basically has little receptive language. The psychologist told us that the cognitive testing showed that Zach has skills like his peers when it comes to visual testing, however, because of his lack of imitation and verbal communication, he shows a delay cognitively in those areas. Kinda knew that. Look forward to the report they will come up with. I must say that the team of people there seemed really great and that I would love it if Zach got to work with them. But they are not likely the people that he would end up working with. I asked the question that is perplexing me the most at this time: how do I know what kind of program is best for Zach - a school program or a home based program? Unfortunately, they explained that they are not likely to give us that sort of input, that it will rest on what we decide with the school district. Sending my 2 year old on a bus cross town to be gone all day is not making me feel too terrific - I have to decide if my feelings are motherly stuff that is gooey and wanting to nurture the little guy, or if it is some instinct that it isn't the right choice for him right now. I have decided to seek some comments from an independent party outside the people we have used so far - a professor at SU. Hopefully, she can offer me some guidance, because this scares the snot out of me, and I will likely have to make the decision with the next month. uugghh.
Sophie had the chance to go to a new "House of Bounce" that just opened up a few weeks ago. Our sitter A. said that Sophie loved it and that they had a lot of fun. She said she'll take both kids there next week - how cool is that? This is good - the PT told us today she recommends that Zach start receiving PT. Can't wait to make the request from the county for this one.
I am still feeling a lack of energy - having a hard time getting things done. Steve is back in town. Things are sort of looking up - we have a team of therapists coming to the house who seem very good, we are getting services mostly paid for, I have begun some advocacy work, work has stabilized. But I am not able to read right now, and feel like I can barely concentrate. I think I may be approaching what us runners call "the wall" usually between mile 20 or so where you feel like you cannot go on any further, but if you can push through that, you'll finish the final 6.1 no problem. I keep on using this analogy in my head to keep myself going, but I really wish it didn't feel so hard right now.
I would love to see a little more progress with him - maybe that could give me the juice I need to climb this darned wall.
He didn't tantrum a lot, and he stuck with all the the tests like a little trooper, although he wasn't able to understand many tasks presented to him because he basically has little receptive language. The psychologist told us that the cognitive testing showed that Zach has skills like his peers when it comes to visual testing, however, because of his lack of imitation and verbal communication, he shows a delay cognitively in those areas. Kinda knew that. Look forward to the report they will come up with. I must say that the team of people there seemed really great and that I would love it if Zach got to work with them. But they are not likely the people that he would end up working with. I asked the question that is perplexing me the most at this time: how do I know what kind of program is best for Zach - a school program or a home based program? Unfortunately, they explained that they are not likely to give us that sort of input, that it will rest on what we decide with the school district. Sending my 2 year old on a bus cross town to be gone all day is not making me feel too terrific - I have to decide if my feelings are motherly stuff that is gooey and wanting to nurture the little guy, or if it is some instinct that it isn't the right choice for him right now. I have decided to seek some comments from an independent party outside the people we have used so far - a professor at SU. Hopefully, she can offer me some guidance, because this scares the snot out of me, and I will likely have to make the decision with the next month. uugghh.
Sophie had the chance to go to a new "House of Bounce" that just opened up a few weeks ago. Our sitter A. said that Sophie loved it and that they had a lot of fun. She said she'll take both kids there next week - how cool is that? This is good - the PT told us today she recommends that Zach start receiving PT. Can't wait to make the request from the county for this one.
I am still feeling a lack of energy - having a hard time getting things done. Steve is back in town. Things are sort of looking up - we have a team of therapists coming to the house who seem very good, we are getting services mostly paid for, I have begun some advocacy work, work has stabilized. But I am not able to read right now, and feel like I can barely concentrate. I think I may be approaching what us runners call "the wall" usually between mile 20 or so where you feel like you cannot go on any further, but if you can push through that, you'll finish the final 6.1 no problem. I keep on using this analogy in my head to keep myself going, but I really wish it didn't feel so hard right now.
I would love to see a little more progress with him - maybe that could give me the juice I need to climb this darned wall.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Non-stop fun
No real notable progress with communication with Zach right now - although a few onesie words have come out here and there such as "big" and "boo". However, I think he is going through a growth spurt and motor development boost. He is too small for his clothes al the sudden and he is jumping all over the place - loved the trampoline at the gym class on Saturday.
No time to really post -Steve's away and it is just non-stop action around here. Unfortunately, Zach has been going to sleep really late, so I don't fall asleep until late, and then Sophie wakes up nice and early, and then either Sophie or Zach hasn't been napping - so there literally is no break. I am so tired I want to collapse. The past two days we have had 3 playdates, one class, a trip to say hi to Nono and Nana, a trip to the grocery store, cleaned the house, did the laundry, baths and normal kid maintenace, puke in the family room, and one overflowing toilet. Plus I had my first advocacy gig - at a resource fair at LeMoyne college where I had the opportunity to talk to some other parents with kids on the spectrum and other disabilities. Met some great people, and saw how the system can just totally suck too.
I have plenty to write about, but no time right now. Zach is getting between 25 and 28 hours of therapy a week, plus evaluations and doctors appointments. We are hopping. There are so many people coming to the house, plus Sophie, her therapy, and preschool - my head is just spinning. Maybe when Steve comes home? He gets in late Monday (around midnight I beleive) and Zach has a 3 hour evaluation teh following morning. uugghh.
No time to really post -Steve's away and it is just non-stop action around here. Unfortunately, Zach has been going to sleep really late, so I don't fall asleep until late, and then Sophie wakes up nice and early, and then either Sophie or Zach hasn't been napping - so there literally is no break. I am so tired I want to collapse. The past two days we have had 3 playdates, one class, a trip to say hi to Nono and Nana, a trip to the grocery store, cleaned the house, did the laundry, baths and normal kid maintenace, puke in the family room, and one overflowing toilet. Plus I had my first advocacy gig - at a resource fair at LeMoyne college where I had the opportunity to talk to some other parents with kids on the spectrum and other disabilities. Met some great people, and saw how the system can just totally suck too.
I have plenty to write about, but no time right now. Zach is getting between 25 and 28 hours of therapy a week, plus evaluations and doctors appointments. We are hopping. There are so many people coming to the house, plus Sophie, her therapy, and preschool - my head is just spinning. Maybe when Steve comes home? He gets in late Monday (around midnight I beleive) and Zach has a 3 hour evaluation teh following morning. uugghh.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Autism and TV watching
A friend recently asked me to comment on an article about a study that showed a correlation (although not causal) of TV watching and autism. There was also a more general article on TV viewing and young children found here.
I decided to post my response to her in case others are interested - with one caveat, I am not (at this moment at least) an ASD researcher and only have preliminary experience with research conducted associated with ASD. I note that my comments are what I considered informed opinions and not scientifically researched. This one day may change, but right now I am concentrating on two things: 1) getting Zach's services and therapies situated and 2) advocating for those parents who are not getting services they need. Steve and I do hope to get more involved in the research end of things eventually, as we both are technically research engineers. (I gotta tell you though, I am particularly good at "guessing" at a lot of this stuff, which is another topic.)
My response:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Wanted to follow up to your question on my take on the autism/TV watching article. Well, I don't think that watching TV causes autism. I first and foremost believe there is a genetic predisposition to autism. I do believe there is a trigger for autism, but in our case, I am fairly certain it wasn't TV - we barely watched it for his first 18 months, and we don't have cable so we don't fit that mold. Cornell has also found a correlation of rain fall and autism as mentioned in that article. Does rain cause autism? Highly unlikely. However, there is something important to be gleaned from this information. I think the hypothesis of the children spending more time indoors is a good start.
I absolutely, 100% believe there is an environmental trigger to my son's autism. There are different "types" of autism so to speak, and my son was developing, what appears to be normally, and lost functionality (most notable his speech, eye contact, and ability to point). For children who are afflicted with autism that have this sort of regressive type, I feel that something in their environment pulled the trigger on engaging the genetic predisposition. Autism varies so much from one child to the next, no two kids are alike. I believe that the causes for regressive autism are likely varied as well: food allergies for some, vaccine intolerance for others, other allergies to chemicals, perhaps even a mild head injury that was one too many.
Many kids on the spectrum are extreme visual thinkers; they have photographic memories that are very intense - like watching a movie, and don't recall things verbally like most neurotypical people do. TV may stimulate this method of thinking and make the nontypical development more obvious, not more frequent. Just my guess for right now.
I am not a big fan of plopping a kid in front of a TV, although I have no particular problem with the medium, but more the content. I HATE advertisements. That's why we mostly do PBS and videos at our house. They aren't trying to sell you something, and pure entertainment is not the theme, there is usually something educational in the content. No fluff - a waste of life's precious time!
My very long $0.02!
I decided to post my response to her in case others are interested - with one caveat, I am not (at this moment at least) an ASD researcher and only have preliminary experience with research conducted associated with ASD. I note that my comments are what I considered informed opinions and not scientifically researched. This one day may change, but right now I am concentrating on two things: 1) getting Zach's services and therapies situated and 2) advocating for those parents who are not getting services they need. Steve and I do hope to get more involved in the research end of things eventually, as we both are technically research engineers. (I gotta tell you though, I am particularly good at "guessing" at a lot of this stuff, which is another topic.)
My response:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Wanted to follow up to your question on my take on the autism/TV watching article. Well, I don't think that watching TV causes autism. I first and foremost believe there is a genetic predisposition to autism. I do believe there is a trigger for autism, but in our case, I am fairly certain it wasn't TV - we barely watched it for his first 18 months, and we don't have cable so we don't fit that mold. Cornell has also found a correlation of rain fall and autism as mentioned in that article. Does rain cause autism? Highly unlikely. However, there is something important to be gleaned from this information. I think the hypothesis of the children spending more time indoors is a good start.
I absolutely, 100% believe there is an environmental trigger to my son's autism. There are different "types" of autism so to speak, and my son was developing, what appears to be normally, and lost functionality (most notable his speech, eye contact, and ability to point). For children who are afflicted with autism that have this sort of regressive type, I feel that something in their environment pulled the trigger on engaging the genetic predisposition. Autism varies so much from one child to the next, no two kids are alike. I believe that the causes for regressive autism are likely varied as well: food allergies for some, vaccine intolerance for others, other allergies to chemicals, perhaps even a mild head injury that was one too many.
Many kids on the spectrum are extreme visual thinkers; they have photographic memories that are very intense - like watching a movie, and don't recall things verbally like most neurotypical people do. TV may stimulate this method of thinking and make the nontypical development more obvious, not more frequent. Just my guess for right now.
I am not a big fan of plopping a kid in front of a TV, although I have no particular problem with the medium, but more the content. I HATE advertisements. That's why we mostly do PBS and videos at our house. They aren't trying to sell you something, and pure entertainment is not the theme, there is usually something educational in the content. No fluff - a waste of life's precious time!
My very long $0.02!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Strangers and abnormalities
Good news: Zach said "Momma" (although not to me) after seeing a picture on TV of a baby and its mother. He also said "bye" and waved to the paint guy who came to give me a quote. So excited! Paint guy has 3 grandchildren around Zach's age and was probably trying to figure out what all the big hoopla was about. If he spends a few days in our house, he will likely get some clue.
I left my house and my children in the hands of complete strangers today as I did yesterday. I am oddly OK with this. I have never left my children with anyone except family up until these last few weeks. As I discussed before, I have major trust issues.
I am really counting on these women to do a good job - and I have to say - I have a good amount of confidence in them. I think one of the hardest parts of this process is knowing that someone else may be better suited to help Zach other than his mother. This goes against every maternal feeling I have. I just want to cradle him in my arms, hug him, kiss him. Giving him to someone else to evoke more functionality feels very cold at times. But these women are all loving and maternal - likely why I feel so comfortable with them. None of them are in this solely for the money - and with the rate of pay, it would not be worth it anyhow. I have seen them all embrace Zach - and better yet, I have heard them say how Zach cuddled with them and how excited they were to be cuddled with. They are becoming more than strangers.
I have never adopted a child, but I know from talking to those who have that there is no difference between the love you have for biological children vs. the adopted ones. Love is a verb, not a noun. Perhaps so is family. These women are becoming more than professionals we have hired, and even more than friends, they are becoming family. I am near tears right now - because they likely have no idea how important to us they are, that they are making the difference between us losing our minds and managing our way through, that they very possibly will make a huge difference in his life. They are Zach's (and my) cheering crowd, and sometimes that motivation means so-o-o much.
I noticed I am extremely tired all the time. As soon as I go vertical, I am out. I want to sleep a lot, and am having to push myself to concentrate and get things done. I know what this means, and a few of you out there do too, I am sure. Steve knows the seasonal blues I get, and this is likely not helping things right now. He tries to take care of things around the house that drive me crazy. He doesn't ask, he knows the scoop. I really don't want to medicate, but the things I normally would do - particularly running - aren't available to me right now. I am trying to figure out a way to get running back in to my life, because I have always found running to be my natural Prozac. Can a few of you say a prayer for me? I have so much work to do, this is not a good time to be running out of juice.
The neurologist office was being difficult (even to our pediatrician's office) and I finally received a copy of the report about his "abnormality". Steve googled term by term the report and feels that he likely is more normal than not - that the few "spikes" they refer to that are "suspicious" could likely be found on anyone's EEG. Still waiting to see if we will get an appointment to have the neurologist hopefully say the same thing.
I left my house and my children in the hands of complete strangers today as I did yesterday. I am oddly OK with this. I have never left my children with anyone except family up until these last few weeks. As I discussed before, I have major trust issues.
I am really counting on these women to do a good job - and I have to say - I have a good amount of confidence in them. I think one of the hardest parts of this process is knowing that someone else may be better suited to help Zach other than his mother. This goes against every maternal feeling I have. I just want to cradle him in my arms, hug him, kiss him. Giving him to someone else to evoke more functionality feels very cold at times. But these women are all loving and maternal - likely why I feel so comfortable with them. None of them are in this solely for the money - and with the rate of pay, it would not be worth it anyhow. I have seen them all embrace Zach - and better yet, I have heard them say how Zach cuddled with them and how excited they were to be cuddled with. They are becoming more than strangers.
I have never adopted a child, but I know from talking to those who have that there is no difference between the love you have for biological children vs. the adopted ones. Love is a verb, not a noun. Perhaps so is family. These women are becoming more than professionals we have hired, and even more than friends, they are becoming family. I am near tears right now - because they likely have no idea how important to us they are, that they are making the difference between us losing our minds and managing our way through, that they very possibly will make a huge difference in his life. They are Zach's (and my) cheering crowd, and sometimes that motivation means so-o-o much.
I noticed I am extremely tired all the time. As soon as I go vertical, I am out. I want to sleep a lot, and am having to push myself to concentrate and get things done. I know what this means, and a few of you out there do too, I am sure. Steve knows the seasonal blues I get, and this is likely not helping things right now. He tries to take care of things around the house that drive me crazy. He doesn't ask, he knows the scoop. I really don't want to medicate, but the things I normally would do - particularly running - aren't available to me right now. I am trying to figure out a way to get running back in to my life, because I have always found running to be my natural Prozac. Can a few of you say a prayer for me? I have so much work to do, this is not a good time to be running out of juice.
The neurologist office was being difficult (even to our pediatrician's office) and I finally received a copy of the report about his "abnormality". Steve googled term by term the report and feels that he likely is more normal than not - that the few "spikes" they refer to that are "suspicious" could likely be found on anyone's EEG. Still waiting to see if we will get an appointment to have the neurologist hopefully say the same thing.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Asteroids
Zach had an OK day today - especially for how busy it was. He had both ABA therapists over plus his one class. He wouldn't say bye-bye - but he did say "pop" and "eeze" as in please. He also pointed a few times today - once completely on his own, and a few times with some prompts from the therapist. Day one of the ABA trials down. How many more to go?
I think Steve captured the feeling well when he described our lives lately: it's like playing a video game at Level 50. I immediately thought of space invaders. Can you just hear the noise as they are about to barrell down on you and squash you? I realized that was the right sound (stamping feet about to crush you) but it didn't truly capture the esssnce of our current experience. Asteroids - the great Atari game of the 70's does; the darned asteroids are flying fast and furious at you from every direction. Unlike some of today's games, video games back in the 70's didn't have end, the objective of the game was to die with a really high score. Some managed to outwit the game and get it to roll over (hit the maximum score, which then reset to 0), but no one actually "won" at asteroids.
Steve is out of town for 5 days, and Zach is supposed to go in on Friday for his follow up appointment with the neurologist- at least we think so - the doctors office doesn't appear to want to tell us when in their schedule they can fit us. Our one therapist is banking on Zach's first word he uses consistently to be of four letters since that was what was flying out of my mouth when trying to deal with this doctor.
I received a note home from Sophie's OT today after a particularly difficult day for her. Sound was really troubling her at school, and she was constantly putting her hands over her ears. We are looking into sound therapy for Sophie to see if this helps. I'd post info about it - but that would mean I would have to find the info in the 10 foot high stack of papers in the office I keep looking at. I need to hire a babysitter and clean the house. I wonder when I will finish the taxes?
Two therapists and two classes today. I was basically with therapists from 8:45 am until 3 pm. I managed to swallow some peanut butter and rice with a glass of water for lunch (mmm, yum). No naps for the kids. Apparently it is much too entertaining to watch their mother get into some sort of vertigo. I am still trying to calm after all the activity.
Mom's appointment with her oncologist was today- and I am terrible and didn't call to check in.
It almost slipped my mind. Now it is too late to call.
A doctor we went to see told us Zach may have an allergy/sensitivity to polybutylene. The doctor wasn't even sure what it was. After googling it, we found that it was a plastic used in plumbing inthe 80's and 90's. We weren't sure if we were believing it at first - but I had a plumber come and see if we had such piping in the house. He went through our unfinished basement, and originally said, no. Then after telling him this was a possible health issue for our son, he said, we should check under the sinks. Sure enough, he claimed that the intakes to the faucets were polybutylene. We are getting a quote to see how much it will cost to get rid of the stuff.
Mom, Zach, Sophie, work, Steve going away - this sure does feel like asteroids. I wish I knew which direction to shoot at, I guess I'll just keep my finger down on the trigger and hope for the best.
I think Steve captured the feeling well when he described our lives lately: it's like playing a video game at Level 50. I immediately thought of space invaders. Can you just hear the noise as they are about to barrell down on you and squash you? I realized that was the right sound (stamping feet about to crush you) but it didn't truly capture the esssnce of our current experience. Asteroids - the great Atari game of the 70's does; the darned asteroids are flying fast and furious at you from every direction. Unlike some of today's games, video games back in the 70's didn't have end, the objective of the game was to die with a really high score. Some managed to outwit the game and get it to roll over (hit the maximum score, which then reset to 0), but no one actually "won" at asteroids.
Steve is out of town for 5 days, and Zach is supposed to go in on Friday for his follow up appointment with the neurologist- at least we think so - the doctors office doesn't appear to want to tell us when in their schedule they can fit us. Our one therapist is banking on Zach's first word he uses consistently to be of four letters since that was what was flying out of my mouth when trying to deal with this doctor.
I received a note home from Sophie's OT today after a particularly difficult day for her. Sound was really troubling her at school, and she was constantly putting her hands over her ears. We are looking into sound therapy for Sophie to see if this helps. I'd post info about it - but that would mean I would have to find the info in the 10 foot high stack of papers in the office I keep looking at. I need to hire a babysitter and clean the house. I wonder when I will finish the taxes?
Two therapists and two classes today. I was basically with therapists from 8:45 am until 3 pm. I managed to swallow some peanut butter and rice with a glass of water for lunch (mmm, yum). No naps for the kids. Apparently it is much too entertaining to watch their mother get into some sort of vertigo. I am still trying to calm after all the activity.
Mom's appointment with her oncologist was today- and I am terrible and didn't call to check in.
It almost slipped my mind. Now it is too late to call.
A doctor we went to see told us Zach may have an allergy/sensitivity to polybutylene. The doctor wasn't even sure what it was. After googling it, we found that it was a plastic used in plumbing inthe 80's and 90's. We weren't sure if we were believing it at first - but I had a plumber come and see if we had such piping in the house. He went through our unfinished basement, and originally said, no. Then after telling him this was a possible health issue for our son, he said, we should check under the sinks. Sure enough, he claimed that the intakes to the faucets were polybutylene. We are getting a quote to see how much it will cost to get rid of the stuff.
Mom, Zach, Sophie, work, Steve going away - this sure does feel like asteroids. I wish I knew which direction to shoot at, I guess I'll just keep my finger down on the trigger and hope for the best.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
No medicaid waiver for us today
OK. So, don't ask me why. But no medicaid waiver for us today. According to the coordinator, we will have to wait until Zach is 3. No where am I able to find such a rule documented. Whatever. I just have to keep on top of it I suppose.
Zach is getting into a lot of trouble lately - going into my drawers, playing in the toilet (ewwww....gross), got into the toothpaste and the dental floss. The house is a complete mess. And now for the funny part - I love it! He is acting like a typical 2 year old toddler this way. This keeps my hopes up.
He said apple the other day when looking at a picture that the sitter drew of an apple when trying to show Sophie how to say apple in Russian. (Our new sitter is fluent in Russian - how cool is that?)
Zach is hopping around the house lately a lot. This is also really cool - he regularly gets both feet off the floor. Just what he should be doing. Also making Momma very happy.
I have been a little down lately. Maybe I outpaced myself and just need a little recovery. Maybe it's the fact that I am on Zach's diet now for Lent. Maybe it's the fact that the EEG results showed something and I cannot get it out of my mind.
I love my kids so much. This is just not what I anticipated for parenthood. I am trying to enjoy them amongst all the chaos, but sometimes I find that I am more worried about stuff then about if they are having fun. I really would like to take Sophia ice skating today, but Steve is at work, and I think it would be a bit daunting to have to carry Zach and try and help Sophie ice skate. Why is Steve at work? Becuase when your concentration is as wrecked as ours has been lately, you gotta make it up somehow. We need our jobs to pay for the therapists too much to get into any trouble at work. Yesterday I went in, today Steve went in. Sophie just asked when he will be home.
Let's chalk it up to a long, cold, grey winter and hope that spring and the sunshine will take care of business soon enough.
Zach is getting into a lot of trouble lately - going into my drawers, playing in the toilet (ewwww....gross), got into the toothpaste and the dental floss. The house is a complete mess. And now for the funny part - I love it! He is acting like a typical 2 year old toddler this way. This keeps my hopes up.
He said apple the other day when looking at a picture that the sitter drew of an apple when trying to show Sophie how to say apple in Russian. (Our new sitter is fluent in Russian - how cool is that?)
Zach is hopping around the house lately a lot. This is also really cool - he regularly gets both feet off the floor. Just what he should be doing. Also making Momma very happy.
I have been a little down lately. Maybe I outpaced myself and just need a little recovery. Maybe it's the fact that I am on Zach's diet now for Lent. Maybe it's the fact that the EEG results showed something and I cannot get it out of my mind.
I love my kids so much. This is just not what I anticipated for parenthood. I am trying to enjoy them amongst all the chaos, but sometimes I find that I am more worried about stuff then about if they are having fun. I really would like to take Sophia ice skating today, but Steve is at work, and I think it would be a bit daunting to have to carry Zach and try and help Sophie ice skate. Why is Steve at work? Becuase when your concentration is as wrecked as ours has been lately, you gotta make it up somehow. We need our jobs to pay for the therapists too much to get into any trouble at work. Yesterday I went in, today Steve went in. Sophie just asked when he will be home.
Let's chalk it up to a long, cold, grey winter and hope that spring and the sunshine will take care of business soon enough.
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