Potty training has been canceled. This is definitely going to go down as one of the hardest Zach weeks we have had. All seemed OK on his first day - he actually seemed happy. But as the day wore on, and it was just me and him for the rest of the afternoon and evening - I noticed he no longer took interest in any of his toys, he wasn't complaining much, but then I realized he hadn't eaten his lunch. Then he didn't eat his dinner. No bowel movement for my kid who normally goes 2-3 times a day. Then, the worst, he wouldn't drink anything. He refused to wear his underwear.
Day number 2 was one big tantrum, plus no eating, pooping, and worst off no drinking. I was petrified that he could be getting dehydrated. After his first session I canceled the potty training. I then canceled all therapy for Wednesday. This was not going anywhere close to what I anticipated, and I had no idea how to handle it.
After a day off to ward off the trauma, a trip to McDonalds for apple slices and french fries dinally got the kid at least eating. Later on, he drank, from a regular cup with a straw. Still no BM.
This is a key difference between NT and ASD - potty training doesn't work with a NT kid, you keep on trying, ask the kid why not, and move on. Perhaps you decide to stick with it and push harder, perhaps you decide to try again later. Now potty training with a kid with ASD: uh, it doesn't work, and now you have added a whole host of issues plus you still don't have a kid who is potty trained, and he cannot explain at all what is going on. Then the stories of kids who were 15 and still not potty trained came from a therapist. Disappointment, injury, and fear.
This is my life now - no work to run off to so that I can have a little time away from this - to thik in my own head, not hear the crying and tantrums, not stare at his beautiful face and think about him taking a poop, not wondering how I am going to afford all these therapists if this behavior stuff continues.
Zach is still pretty young - 2 and 9 months. However, in order to enroll Zach in a traditional preschool, he would need to be potty trained. So that brings us back to the what are we doing for Zach - a institutional program (school) or a home program (where we can add in a traditional preschool). Monday we go to visit the program we are considering again - this time with Zach. This feels like it could single-handedly be the most important decision we will make regarding Zach's future. I don't know if that is true, but boy, it sure feels that way. I mean it REALLY feels this way.
The stress is so thick all the time, and it is there ALL the time. Everything I am reading is indicating we will get to enjoy at least 3 years of this. Why three years? According to what I have been reading, when he turns 5, we will have a better indication of how the autism has manifested itself. Then the ever present question of where on the spectrum he falls will likely be able to be answered.
At another family gathering this weekend, Zach behaved pretty well. No one likely picked up on what a tough this week this was, although I mentioned it briefly. Lets see how the rest of the weekend goes.
Hope is taking quite a beating lately.
2 comments:
Big hugs! I hope that you will make a decision on preschool soon. From our preschool search I understand that "mainstream" preschools reserve the right to kick the children out of the program if "children need cannot be met" (in other words, they don't know how to deal with a child). It's something to consider while making your choice. I hope Zach will get back on track soon.
Having already stumbled down this road, I wish I could give you some solace. But, just like grieving, it is something that you have to process in your time. I'm here listening and understanding.
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