Beauty

Today was the day that we took Sophia in for a round of blood tests. She asked if it was going to hurt. I said yes. She told me she was scared. I told her that we are tough chicks and we would get through this together. When that didn't work the bribe came out; I told her that we would have a special trip to McDonalds immediately afterward and sure enough that seemed to ease the fear. Nothing like the thought of a junk food high to get you through the tough times.

Then came the blood letting. The phlebotomists were very nice, three of them crowded in the room when they saw this most adorable little blue eye blondie who had to have 5 viles taken. They tried to take Sophia's mind off of it - and she was so good when they first stuck her. I was relieved and stopped sweating. But no, blood was trickling out, had to abort. Ahh geesh. Off to the other arm we go. Now my brave little soldier is not so happy and the tears come. At this point I am so grateful that she is in her father's strong arms to hold her, because mine would likely be shaking. They have to wiggle the needle around. They got their viles, and Sophie got both a Scooby Doo and a Diego band aid. Done.

So why the blood tests, right? 1) A cholesterol check because of her limited diet. 2) An allergy check because of her near-chronic problematic nasal congestion. 3) A measles titer to prove adequate antibodies. She needs one more measles shot to enter school, and the only way it is administered is as part of the MMR, since the measles vaccine is currently not being manufactured as a single dose. Why should I give her the unneeded mumps and rubella vaccinations just because it's cheaper for the pharmaceutical companies to put out? The titer could indicate she doesn't need the booster. If her antibodies are not significant to show resistance, then we will cross that bridge when it comes.

So I am sure I am getting a few eyerolls now. Let me start here - I am not anti-vaccine. Both my mother and my husband's father had polio and I know what that vaccine has done to all but eliminate that. Books that I have read about the issue are somewhat informative, but no one really knows. Anyone thinking that this has been settled has to keep in mind that a bunch of lawyers (the Office of Special Masters) made the much publicized recent decision, not scientists or doctors . I don't know about you, but I am not ready for a lawyer to tell me something about medical safety. I don't think I would let a lawyer advise me on how to make my bed. Before I making any further lawyer jokes, the thing to keep in mind is that although they have not proven that vaccines cause autism, they haven't shown they don't. My current take is that they are a contributing factor for some children. Some books to read if you are further interested on the subject:

• Autism's False Prophets: Bad Science, Risky Medicine, and the Search for a Cure by Paul A. Offit MD
• Evidence of Harm: Mercury in Vaccines and the Autism Epidemic: A Medical Controversy by David Kirby
• The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child by Robert Sears MD

There may be better books out there. These are the ones I am familiar with - and each has a different take on the issue. (Vaccines are safe, vaccines are evil, and some vaccines are safeif/when ....) I believe in a genetic predisposition that lends itself to autism. And part of this genetic condition may make a child vulnerable to having viruses injected into their system, or perhaps it's the preservatives, or whatnot. I am a huge proponent for conducting research on identifying populations that are at risk for adverse effects of vaccines. Remember, some children are harmed by vaccines - and I am not talking about autism! There would be no special commision(the Office of Special Masters) if there weren't any problems. Check out some of the cases at the website. Enough of that for now - because I surely could go on and on about this topic.

Back to Sophia - off to McDonalds we went. While there - I saw a big burly man, about 6'3", 275 pounds, but cute like a bear. He was there with his two children, a daughter who looked to be about 12 and a son about 10. It didn't take long, I knew within 5 seconds: the boy had autism. While I sipped my coffee watching Sophia play, I contemplated pointing this out to Steve. I decided to do it. After I directed Steve to the boy and Steve took a long contemplative look, I saw the sadness in Steve's eyes. There were almost tears. Almost. Prior to having a clue in life about autism let alone any disability, I would have guessed the little guy to have had maybe a mild cerebral palsey. Steve would not have realized at all. The hand flapping gesture was so like Zach's. I realized that Steve had not really seen the face of autism up front and personal like that besides our little guy and another little guy aged 2. Age 10 is certainly more striking. Steve has read a lot of academic descriptions, even seen a few kids on YouTube. But this was different.

And then it happened. This big burly teddy-bear of a father walked up to his son (who appeared likely nonverbal or extremely limited) , tousled his hair, and gave the most tender kiss to the top of his head. If ever there was a description of love, this was it. As the tears came down my cheeks, I realized why I was crying, it wasn't feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I was given the opporunity to witness perfect beauty for the first time in my life. I wondered how many people would have even been able to recognize it, I don't think I would have a year prior to today. The father told the kids it was time to go, and I watched them hop into his SUV and go. And it all happened in the Playland section of McDonalds in Syracuse NY.