Here (hear??) we go

Woke up this morning to a happy little boy playing in his room.  I rolled over to see my husband in bed with me. "Let's let him play in his room this morning for as long as he wants."  I said.  Steve concurred.  Steve got up only to be replaced by Sophia.  As she hopped in with me, I lay there with my eyes closed thinking about all the freaky dreams I have been having.  I then asked Steve, "He can't have anything, right?  Not even water?"  "Nope"

We kept the little bugger up as late as we could in anticipation that he would sleep in.  The surgery isn't until 10:30, although they want us there at 9:30.   I am pretty sure Steve kept him up until 11 last night, but the little bugger still managed to wake at 7:30. 

Sophia asked me when I was going to get up.  I dread getting up.  I dread this oh so simple procedure that is about to take place.  She asks if she can open the shades, she pulls on the roller shade and I realize it is all the way extended to which she replies:  "Can you fix the shade so I can open it?"  I tell her to give it one more try and 'snap' it rolls up, all the way to the top, only to reveal that on this April 27th morning (yes, it is almost May good folks) that it is snowing in Syracuse, New York.  Normally, this would unnerve me as a freak natural occurrence and I would be spooked that it was setting a bad tone for what was to come.  But, alas, we live in Syracuse NY, and we pretty much come to expect that it could snow in July around here.  However, waking up in bed with my husband still next to me at 7:15 on a weekday, that is what I call a true freakish moment. 

It's eight o'clock now, Zach has moved into the therapy room and is playing and babbling and singing.  He still hasn't come looking for me.  I heard him call out "wake up" but don't know if that was directed at me or not.  I am still in bed, staring out the window at the snow, typing on this ol' laptop.

I think about the freaky dream I had last night - where I was at a swim meet, about to do an event that I had never done before.  Those of you who don't know me, which is many, probably don't know that I am not a particularly good swimmer (make that pretty bad) and that I am pretty nervous around deep water.  In fact, I failed swimming lessons in the 2nd grade. Back to the dream, I was belly crawling around the pool, watching the other swimmers, trying to notice their every move so that I could replicate it.  In my dream I was not afraid of the deep water, and was actually building up confidence as I crawled around the pool, watching the other swimmers, thinking "I can take them".  Now when I think about me at a swim meet, in a bathing suit in my current unfit 40 self in front of the general public, building up confidence just doesn't seem like it would be likely. I'll let all you dream interpretation enthusiasts work this one out and get back to me.  The dream abruptly stopped, as most of my dreams have been lately.  None of them have been pleasant.  All of them have been so unusual, more than my dreams ever were before.  All of them have left me uncomfortable.

I used to have those flying dreams - anybody out there have them?  I remember as a child, I had them so frequently, a few as I was growing up, and a rare hit here and there as an adult.  What I would do to conquer the skies again in my dreams.  As much as I have only a cursory knowledge of dream theory,  I knew these dreams were positive, that I was feeling good about myself and my life.  Of course, I was somewhat of a realist in my flying dreams, I never made it up on the first hop, it would usually take 3 or 4 times to get the appropriate loft, and then once up and I was able to determine my navigation techniques, there were those pesky power  and phone lines that I would have to avoid.  I can recall feeling in flight nothing like an airplane, yes more like a kite, at the whimsy of the air currents, not totally in control, but able to span a distance like a glider.   Oh, how I would love to have the strength and content feeling to have such a dream again.  My dreams seem to all be about frenzy, nonsense, fear, my past colliding with my future.  Crazy.

The snow was still coming down as we came back from the surgery center.  Tubes were in, both ears were completely clogged with a viscous mucus.  The ABR indicated all OK.  They were unable to conduct an OAE (Otoacoustic Emissions test) because of all the gunk oozing from the poor little guys ears.  He took a bit to come out of anesthesia, but uttered only a peep when the nurse took out his IV.  He readily took the cup of apple juice and ate some crackers on the ride home.  We cuddled for a bit, and then he went to town eating two waffles, then a hot dog and an apple for lunch.  He played a bit, and then I saw that look.  You know the one.  I placed him on the potty, he did his business (#1 and #2) and we got him out of his pajamas and into comfy clothes.  He's playing an online Fisher Price alphabet game on my laptop now.  There is some gunk coming from his ears.  And here we are.