I spoke with a good friend yesterday. We have known each other since 1980 I think? I am sure she will let me know - she has a terrific memory. I spoke with her for quite a while, about life, life's problems, and even a few of life's joys. Guess what we didn't spend hours talking about? You got it. Autism.
I realized this after the phone call ended. We just didn't go there, at least not much. M. has a son with autism - had we already covered all the bases? Did I feel she 'got it' so I didn't need to go there? Am I on autism burn-out and want to quit being a bore? Yup.
Changes. There are some that are hard to recognize because of their subtlety, but that doesn't make them any less significant. Approaching the one year mark of Zach's dx, I am occasionally remembering a year ago and what that felt like. Not good, that's for sure. It felt like the walls were caving in, and that stakes were going through my heart, that I was walking on coals, and watching the world around me shatter at the same time.
We have lived through this apocalyptic storm. Somehow. I am not the most accepting person, I am not the greatest fighter either, I am somewhere in the middle. Some of the fear that I feel is not just what is happening to Zach, but it's if the paths that I am pursuing to help him really are worth going down at all. Keep in mind that I have to fight like hell to just be able to down those paths, and sometimes along the way, I may realize they aren't right.
Zach is not the verbal kid I was hoping for. He still doesn't readily respond to his name, nor does he always point when he gestures. But he does say milk, bye, juice, jump, hug me, and many more things. Granted, a lot of these words come only when prompted, but guess what, sometimes they come with Zach's will alone.
A year ago, when we had company come to the house, Zach screamed. I mean, yelled continually. He would warm up eventually, but not after putting me and Steve through a bit of torture first. Now where is Zach at? Anyone who saw the prayer service realizes he loves the excitement of people around. He was so wound up when people were over the house, it was hard to get him to settle for bed afterward.
A few weekends ago, Zach's uncle and aunt came, with some trepidation, and picked Zach and Sophia up. They took them out to pick apples and to lunch (we provided the food for Zach). We really didn't know how things were going to go. He certainly was adapting to new situations and strangers better than ever before, but to be totally away from us? The outing was a complete success - Zach didn't peep once! It was terrific.
Transitioning to new environments and letting others work with him and play with him is a huge step for Zach. Subtle, and easy to forget how he struggled with this for awhile. I think of this change often. I have to.
1 comment:
Yay for changes. I hope there will be more positive ones in store for you soon. I did think watching the service that Zach was extremely excited to have so many people around and behaved as any toddler would. My 3 year old would have behaved in the same way. It's not possible to get her to sit quietly when she is a center of attention of many new people :)
Post a Comment