Conflicted hope

Many of you know about our persistent fight with the county about procuring an ABA team for Zach. During the whole process, I had it in the back of my mind that this was worth the effort for my child and for others out there who were not receiving this type of therapy. There was a family who requested it after we did, and they were given service quickly. I spoke with the mother at some point, and she stated that we had paved the way for them. I knew she was right, and this brought joy to my heart like you could not imagine.

Her son's progress has been incredible. He is 6 months younger than Zach, and he was totally not verbal. He is now saying many words, and pointing, and interacting. I have a feeling he will likely fall of the diagnosis. I am so happy - but it hurts at the same time. I wanted this to be Zach's story. I get angry knowing that the lazy county workers and financially wary managers wasted 9 months of extremely valuable time in his life that could have made a significant difference. I will not leave this alone.

I am trying to meet with more executive levels of the county government to let them know of our experience. I am in the process of creating an early diagnosis workshop for pediatricians. I am also looking into legislation to make mandatory reporting of therapists for children at high risk for a positive autism diagnosis. We will see where this will all go.

Zach is doing OK. He is saying a few words (not persistent enough for me to call it vocabulary) and doing some signs (cookie, ball, movie, up) and has begun to show progress in imitating behavior. This is very significant.

We are looking to hire 2 more therapists privately since it appears he may be on the verge of a breakthrough. Ka-ching. I am doing lousy at work again - I guess the depression is in a wave of overwhelming me once again. Steve is totally picking up the slack at home, and this just adds to the guilt and feelings of incompetence. I wonder if this is the reason Zach may not be picking up as quickly - I am not providing the appropriate carry through he needs at home because of my own issues. UUGGHHHHHHHH

Many of you might not know this, but autism is treatable. There are known and documented cases where kids "fall off" the diagnosis even - many of them after intensive therapies have been put in place. (Studies by an ABA researcher named Lovaas indicated 50% of those who received intense ABA fell off.) This is NOT A CURE. It is a treatment that is effective and can make some kids indistinguishable from their peers. I feel like we still have a shot at this. We are going for it - no expense will be barred. He will get the chance that others almost blewaway for him. That is, if I can only keep myself from getting fired in tough economic times so we can afford all this. Please pray that I can get my brain back in some capacity or another as I say a prayer of thanks for an awesome husband.

In the spirit of hope I am trying to instill in others, please watch this and do not to let perceived notions get in the way of reality, All Things Possible:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY