"Help!"

Oh my gosh - Therapist L. texted me that Zach said "help" today when she was giving him breakfast. L. had been reviewing the verbal and teaching him the sign for "help". She was helping him use his fork when eating french toast sticks, and she dropped his hand for a bit. He then garbled out a "help" for her to continue helping him use his fork.

I have to tell you - it's at moments like these that I say can he recover from this? I know - one word shouldn't give me so much hope, but it does nonetheless. This is how I get through the day.

With all that is going on, we have decided to have no more biological children. In all honesty, this isn't too hard, since we barely see each other let alone sleep in the same bed together anymore. (I fall asleep getting the kids to bed in their bed, and then usually wake in the middle of the night and do my reading and research then. ) I laugh and tease Steve that one day, it's going to be like we are just meeting each other again, like dating.

Steve and I have discussed recovery from time to time. We are shooting for it - we want this kid in college and independent. If things look like they will be going that way, Steve has agreed with me that we can handle more than we thought, and we will likely get involved in adoption, probably from the foster care system. I had tinkered with the idea before, but was totally terrified of a child that might have issues. Having been through all that we have been through, I know we could handle it now. How foolish I was all those years, wasting time and energy that could have been put to better use. What does my mother say all the time? "Youth is wasted on the young."

I encourage all of you out there to push yourself in one way or another - you too are likely stronger than you think. Go do something - mentor a child, deliver food to the elderly, give blood - I know how we appreciate those who help us, and I know there are a lot of families out there in need. OK - get off your soapbox Leanne!