And she's not

It is 37 degrees today in Syracuse, which makes it feel like spring. People are walking around without their gloves or hats on, jackets unzipped letting the warm (ha ha ha) air and sunshine in. One more parenting class to go. Last night's was very interesting with two parents and a school psychologist giving presentations. I managed to keep my mouth shut, so, "Hurray!" for me.

Zach had a busy day yestreday- having gone from school, to therapy, to playing with sista', and then a cat nap on the 15 minute drive to this parenting class. I expected when we dropped him off a bit of a tantrum would ensue, since he fell asleep in one place and was going to plopped in a new one with strange people and then awakened. Not very nice of us. Well, we woke him up, he took one look in the gym and smiled and ran in. That was that. He had been eating some GFCF crackers and potato chips on the drive down as a snack. This must be pointed out since during our class he managed to puke. Now, the good ladies who volunteer to watch the kids while us adults go and get educated have no idea what Zach's puking is like. But it seems like a really benign incident. These women were so gracious about the event that I have to thank God they exist. I certainly was never so gracious in my pre-disability-knowing days. I am always surprised how well he does with transitions. I am always surprised what a selfish fool I was before all of this.

We came home at 8:30, into jammies, teeth brushed, and our little wee ones passed out on us by 9:15. It was almost a miracle to have both kids asleep that early.

Then there was today. Zach went off to school, and Sophia and I met up with Daddy at the developmental pediatrician's office. Sophia had her long awaited Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS) test run today. There are separate sections to the test, and she scored a 4 composite. A 7 is required for autism spectrum diagnosis (7 is mild and 10 is severe). While she did not score as being on the spectrum, her score does show warrant why there were concerns. Her issues - reciprocal relationship stuff and the whole lining things up sorta thing combined with fine motor issues and sensory difficulties. They said they did not note sensory issues, and she did not display them during the test, although moments after, she was tiptoeing around the office when the doctor had her take her shoes off to check her feet. I told him of my concern that some children require orthotics and even surgery to correct for ligament and muscle issues pertaining to toe walking. He told me that if we were seeing strain, we could avoid both with a shot of botox in the calf. Never heard this one before!

There was a comment from the practitioner who ran the test that Sophia's imagination was limited, because she appeared to have to mimic someone else's fiction rather than derive her own. That's what the test showed. Well, I have frequently observed Sophia to be just about the opposite of this! Steve pointed out that during the test, when asked to draw a picture, Sophia drew two of her little stuffed animals' pictures outside in the sunshine. He went on to say that if there is one thing showing someone has imagination, it's a child from Syracuse drawing pictures of the sun. LOL

The doctor appeared happy that she is receiving OT and understands that the demands of kindergarten have been pretty few and weak. She knew most of the material going in, and it is only half day. Let's see how first grade goes. He suggested a one year follow up appointment to check progression. The doctor asked us if we were surprised by the outcome of the test. Do I think Sophie is autistic? Not really. But that whole spectrum thing - I think us typical folks have a spectrum of these tendencies too. And I have to wonder with those things that Sophia and Zach have in common (toe walking) and not in common (Zach is not as fussy about things like food and schedule that Sophia is) it makes me question what autism is. It makes me wonder how one goes about becoming functional - and what functional means.

Everyone that works with Zach likes him. We have had people say they would like to work with him. He is not a high functioning autistic kid - he is more in the middle, so it isn't his stellar abilities. He isn't the most social, he doesn't seek people out but he does tolerate people and want them to hug, kiss and tickle him. He is darned cute. And he has this charm. That's what the good doctor from Yale said, I can still remember saying "He is charming!". If he can get people to accommodate him in life with his charm - isn't that functional? Politicians/actors/models/salesmen have been doing it for years. So now I ask myself what is his charm? I have decided that it unequivocally is the dimples.

So onward we go - 1 dxed is fine by me. Sophia is not autistic. She is Sophia! I relate this in another way to our other beautiful child; Zachary is not autism, he is Zachary. We have to learn to enjoy the ride of figuring out what exactly who Zach is. I think the best way to do this is to give him plenty of opportunity to show us. Isn't this the same with all kids?