Sunshine

When you live in Syracuse, gray comes to mind. Indeed, many have claimed to have seen a large, bright UFO, and realized that oops - it's just March. Yes, the sun has indeed been out more than it has been hidden these past 16 days. Nature's prozac has finally arrived.

We increased a supplement Zach is taking called DMG a few weeks ago. For over a week, the teachers and therapists at Zach's school have been commenting on how energetic and attentive he has been. Unfortunately, we have had a few night wakings and early morning rises with this sudden burst of energy. The funny part is they were just about to start a program with the occupational therapist to increase his "arousal" (which, BTW, just sounds wrong to me) and totally screws up the baseline.

I am also wondering if the change in weather is contributing to my dear son's increase in energy. I often think of the study done a few years ago at Cornell that discussed areas with higher rates of precipitation and autism incidence (see Rain Man) Before anyone goes to thinking that I suggest that rain causes autism - like must studies, it was not showing causality, just associations. Environmental changes sure affect me, perhaps my sensory child even more.

I have begun running again. I hate the dreadmill ... I mean treadmill. I just can't seem to get going on the thing. I do so much better outside, and that is why I like that big yellow globe in the sky. I have decided to be a fair weather runner right now, since I feel like I am low energy and some other minor issues that lead me to believe the ol' immune system isn't running up to par.

Zach's CPSE meeting is next week, I think the 25th. Hurray. (said in a monotone voice) These things are as exciting as a gynecological exam. In preparation for the meeting, I will be meeting with his team this week to discuss the report they sent home last week that they also provided to the school district. As I read the report, the wind was taken out of my sails. I have been having such a hard time with the progress Zach has made. It just doesn't seem anywhere near what I expected - and I don't think I was expecting that much. I certainly wasn't expecting a neurotypical child! I guess his motor skills seem to be falling further and further behind where they should be - and these were not an issue for him before. I never see him write, and have been trying to encourage him. He used to scribble here and there. The folks at school say he is doing it somewhat there, with prompting, and a lot of it I have a feeling. Although he knows more words than he did 6 months ago, he doesn't use them spontaneously. He appears to need prompting for most all speech. He occasionally will request food such as "milk", "juice", "apple", "banana". He will request actions like: "up", "come", "tickle", "hug". He can receptively identify: cow, sheep, dog, cat, bird, ball, chair, shirt, shoe, spoon, airplane, car and a few others , however, he only says these words when prompted. He can follow a few simple commands such as "clap your hands", "stomp your feet", "stand up", "sit down" and we are working really hard on "come here".

Zach doesn't appear to understand nor desire the concept of "joint attention" which is basically when a child will find something familiar and point it out to those who are around him. ("Momma, apple!" as he gestures to an apple in a store. Without this desire to seek others into his interests, I have a feeling we will not see language progress into the spontaneous language I would like him to have. The question is, will he ever want others to share with him in his thoughts and feelings?

I can clearly say, after knowing Steven an official 10 years as of tomorrow, this might not be. And this is the case of low expectations that has me concerned. I can see why some people avoid the label of autism. There is the obvious social stigma (yes, there are people out there that would refer to my son as a "retard") . But there is also the excuse of autism for all things that are not what you want them to be. Teachers are likely not to push as hard if they can get away with a "he's autistic" excuse. Not that they do it intentionally, mind you. I think Zach's easy going personality is likely getting in the way of showing academic progress. Where it is nice since he sort of goes with the flow, many children on the spectrum have great difficulty in this arena, it lends him to described as a sort of lethargic sort of kid without much initiative. When they say that kids with autism have limited social interests as part of this disorder, I think of his old man, and think, what if it is just personality?

Recently a friend's son went for an eye exam and required glasses. This child who had tantrums, also referred to as autistic meltdowns, has been doing much better in school, showing improvement in tantrums and hand writing. As she puts it "only time will tell" if she can attribute this to his newly found eyesight. I hear these stories so frequently with children on the spectrum. It is important to consider the child as you would any other when it comes to issues, and then, as a last resort, just put it out there as an ASD trait if you cannot figure anything else out. That is why after 3 back to back ear infections, we will be having Zach receive tubes in his ears and he will finally go for an ABR hearing test at the end of April. We want to rule out that Zach's speech (in particular his amount of speech, plus his articulation and phonology) are due to any hearing difficulties. Let's not blame the autism yet when it might not be.

Low expectations lend themselves to low results. High expectations being unmet are exhausting. How do you balance this?

-Feeling autism burnout in sunny old Syracuse.