Well, it didn't take long to realize this was going to be a tough run. At some point, I told L. to take off, that I needed to walk. Eventually I finished, after run/walking the course. It was the worst run I had ever completed in my life. L. and I had planned on Starbucks, but I had to pass. I noticed that the 26 degree weather had me extremely chilled, more than ususal. I decided to run and get gas for the car, which I did. Then I stopped in a store. Then I started crying uncontrollably - I just broke down. I pulled the car in a friends drive way and went to the door, no one home. I could not understand why I was so upset. I called another friend, and left a message on her answering machine. Then I hauled off to Pier One, where I allowed myself 3 minutes of crying and in I went. I worse my sunglasses in the store. After feeling I had given myself adequate time to calm down, I asked a sales girl for help. I spent $250 - which is extremely unlike me. My friend K. called and said it was OK to stop over. I went over to her house and told her how I freaked out and how I wasn't sure why. I actually joked that perhaps it had something to do with the terrible run that morning. After chit chatting with her and her husband, off I went home. It was a rough ride. I thought for sure I was going to hurl.
I arrived home and stuck the thermometer in my ear: 101.9. Ahhhh. So that explains it all - not that I don't have stuff to be upset about - but the way it happened really stunned me. When I have a fever, it always kicks my butt. That explains the awful run, too.
Even though I cannot eat, and feel cruddy, it feels kind of nice to lie around the house with the kids, all of us in our jammies. Zach appears to be feeling much better, and Sophie is getting there. Mind you - according to the doctor last weekend, Zach just had an ear infection. Steve told me that she never looked down his throat, or feel his abdomen. freaking doctors.
Mom's furnace kicked out on her last night bringing the temperature in her house down to 52 degrees. She didn't call the furnace company until the morning. She feels awful from not being able to sleep, and her legs are incredibly swollen. The doctors decided to take her off some of the pain medication, because they think it is contributing to the swelling. She is in a decent amount of pain, and I am totally unable to do anything to help her.
Zach said "Pop" for me yesterday. He also said "up" today. He is pointing fairly well. He is not as cranky. I am getting that hopeful feeling again, as I am reading a book which is the story of a young man and his quest to fulfill his dreams of going to college and other vignettes.
All this cruddy stuff is happening, am I crazy to think things will get better? I often wonder what I did to have such bad luck - but I also think how lucky I am to have two beautiful children who Steve and I love, a great husband, employment in a bad economic time, and the ability to be a reasonable advocate for my kids. While there are several people who have disappointed me, I am meeting some exceptional people on this journey whom I would have never known. That would have been a terrible loss to not know such souls exist in this world. They have little reason to help us much as they do, they are not family afterall. What could make me feel more hopeful then that?
Still at 102 degrees. uugghh
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